Caribbean Soap Opera (Island Rhythms)
EPISODE 1: Tales of Passion and Paradise
The Players:
Brick Wall, the handsome, wealthy but dense heartthrob
Angela Fliphair, his gorgeous redheaded girlfriend
Lara Kumansingh, his ex-girlfriend, a Trinidadian lawyer
Camille, his Haitian maid and moonlighting juju priestess
Alan Dumm, his best friend, a clone
Chanel Pisces and
Shalimar Twinn, Angela’s best friends
Professor Hugo Poorman, UWI Professor who is Brick’s friend (I don’t know why, with an intellectual chasm between them)
Stone Wall, yep you’ve guessed it, his millionaire dad
Liz Arden Sunflower Borg, Stone’s ex-wife
John King, the gardener
Madame Pringle, a madam
Mystery Guest Star
The Place: Lily Gardens, a wealthy white suburban neighborhood in 22nd century Barbados.
Brick is depressed because he senses Angela is not being true to him. Unfortunately, the size of his ego smothers his tiny brain and he in not able to fully understand the ramifications of this thought (he wasn’t named Brick Wall for nothing). He confides in Camille, who promises to take care of everything.
Feeling much better, he visits his friend Professor Poorman at the University. Hugo is sorely depressed because a rare book, Harry Potter #7, had been stolen. No one knows who the Potter pilferer is, but everyone is dying to find out so they can ostracize him/her. The police search leads to Brick’s mansion in Lily Gardens where Hugo had last been with the book. The book cover is discovered, and such damning evidence leads the police to question Brick and his servants. Well, Camille doesn’t read much English, being Haitian, and Brick doesn’t read because he finds it painful. John, the gardener is the likely suspect, being a recipient of Barbados’ excellent educational system, and Black.
The social vampires are happy because it is still Brick’s reputation that will suffer – a biblioklept is considered a serious criminal. Anyway, the trial escalates into the scandal of the century and Brick is in need of support. Unfortunately, Angela is in New York shopping, (not that she would be doing any differently in Barbados). Brick for once in his entire life gets a brainstorm and calls Lara, his ex-girlfriend. It turns out she is no longer a lawyer but a missionary in Brazil; it seems that being Brick’s girlfriend really bled her brilliant mind. Just as Brick is about to hang up his party shoes, John reveals he had no reason to steal the book because he already owned all the books in the series, having purchased them through his book club. So who stole the book?
Well, meanwhile, Brick realizes he had a new lease on life and should appreciate every moment. So he insures his life and assets for millions (like we said, the boy is not too bright and that brainstorm really wiped him out). Unfortunately, he isn’t due his allowance for another month and daddy Stone Wall wont budge (Stone took after his penny-pinching father, Granite Wall). It’s his buddy Alan Dumm who tells him he could make a mint being a gigolo. Now at first Brick did not know what this was and had to look it up in a dictionary, but he thought he could do it.
He was hired by Madame Pringle, a descendent of the first Madame Pringle, famous Barbadian brothel keeper (capitalism had allowed the family to diversify from a simple bordello to a multinational call service corporation). Anyway, on his first night, Brick got a job (remember he was a hunk). At this mansion, he met a blonde woman who looked exactly like Angela’s best friends, Chanel and Shalimar. Now Chanel and Shalimar looked so alike you’d think you were seeing double-imagine what this did to poor Brick every time he saw them. Anyway, this woman was really Liz Arden Sunflower Borg, called Sunflower for short.
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